Do you suffer from uncertainty? Or do you sometimes also have the feeling that you can ‘fall through the basket’ at any moment? That your successes are not your own merit, but ‘coincidence’, or the result of help from others? Here, psychology speaks of ‘deceiver syndrome’: you find it difficult to ‘internalize’ successes. I can tell you that you are not the only one. 75% of women seem to be bothered by this!
With all the women I know and have spoken with and also with myself, ‘more self-confidence’ is on number 1 of the wish list. But how do you realize that? In this blog I give you 8 tips to tackle this imposter syndrome and to increase your self-confidence. Here they come:
1) BE AWARE OF THESE THOUGHTS AND ACKNOWLEDGE THEM
Unconsciously we often fight these thoughts, we put them away and we do not accept them. It is more effective to become aware of these thoughts and to acknowledge them . It is normal that you have them. Whether you want it or not, they are there. But it doesn’t stop there:
2) REALIZE THAT THESE THOUGHTS ARE CHARACTERISTIC OF SMART WOMEN
Scientific research shows that the more problems you have with these thoughts, the smarter you are. So…. just put it in your pocket.
3) YOU ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS
We women are good at identifying ourselves with our thoughts. Realize that you are not your thoughts. Replace the idea “I am uncertain” with “something in me is uncertain”. That immediately gives a different charge. Then do not base your choices on that ‘something’. Because your circumstances do not determine your happiness .
4) REALIZE THAT UNCERTAINTY OFTEN GOES TOGETHER WITH (HIGH) ‘SENSITIVITY’
(High) sensitivity is often accompanied by fear of rejection and therefore fear of criticism. What makes you awake in the evening? Not from compliments, but from that one point of criticism. Sensitivity, however, is also a beautiful feature and is generally accompanied by empathy, which means that you feel exactly what someone else needs. It gives you so many opportunities to mean something to others.
5) MAKE AN INVENTORY OF YOUR SUCCESSES
Get used to writing down what you did well that day. Taking stock of your successes gives you different thoughts. And your thoughts determine how you feel again. Try it for a week and you will already feel very different!
6) STOP COMPARING YOURSELF
The underlying cause of the imposter syndrome is ‘perfectionism’. We often develop, through our upbringing or other external influences, an ideal image of how we should be. We then constantly compare ourselves with others and thereby set a certain universal bar. But if you are made by God as a Fiat 500, you will never be able to function as a BMW. Nobody expects that of you either. People like it more if you are authentic. Don’t think in terms of differences, but remember that everyone is unique. What does your unique ‘me’ have to offer?
7) INTERNALIZE GOD’S LOVE FOR YOU
This is the most important and effective tip. Many Christian women know with their heads that God loves them. So much that He gave His Son. Yet they remain uncertain. And that is not very logical, right? If you know you are loved by the supreme God, do you no longer have to be insecure and fearful? The only cause may be that you have not (yet) let God’s love penetrate your heart . You are not yet fully aware of His acceptance of you and you have not yet fully mastered His love.
Let God’s love penetrate your heart; that is the only way to fully accept yourself. If God has designed you as you are and finds you fantastic; who are you to think about it differently and to doubt yourself … I am convinced that God even wants you to accept yourself, otherwise you can never step over yourself and do what you have to do here , ie love others ! As long as you are concerned with your own uncertainty, your focus is on yourself and not on others … Not really functional, right? That way you stay stuck and you won’t get any further. You can accept yourself! So that you can get started afterwards, from freedom and surrender.
8) SHARE YOUR UNCERTAINTIES WITH OTHER WOMEN
Last but not least: Ask others if they sometimes suffer from the imposter syndrome. I bet that pretty much everyone has that! We don’t talk about this often. See that as a weakness. Recognition gives just so much power; you can empower each other! It is precisely in our weakness that there is so much power …
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST
Do you recognize yourself in this blog? Or do you have any other tips? Share them in the comments below. Let’s inspire each other!