Top 10 Monologues About Depression

Monologue about depression


JAMIE
Yes, you’re right. I have to toughen up… there’s always someone who has it worse than me. Sorry I am so depressed all the time… sorry I bring you down. I don’t mean to ruin your day… Or your life. I’d love to stop being depressed. I wish I could look on the bright side and turn that frown upside down. I wish it were that easy.
You think it’s my fault don’t you? You think it’s all in my head. Yes, we all have this problem don’t we? We all get a little blue sometimes. I get very blue all the time. I’m so blue I’m purple. Don’t tell me you understand… you don’t understand!
Do you really know how this feels? Do you really know how this grips me inside and threatens to rip me apart? Do you know the weight that holds me down, a weight so powerful I can hardly move.
Yes, I’m using this to punish you. I am angry at you so I’m acting this way to hurt you… I need to stop feeling sorry for myself… Me, me, me… yes, it’s all about me… I want you all to drop everything and focus on me! I’m sorry I even came out of my room.
Oh yeah… a nice cup of tea will instantly cure me – maybe if you put some strychnine in it. I wish I could just snap out of it… like it was some kind of spell a witch cast on me. I’m waiting for some prince to come along and kiss my tears away.
Don’t worry. I won’t say anything anymore. I didn’t want to bring it up. I didn’t want to talk about it anyway…
I bet you’re sorry you asked how I was doing. How am I doing anyway? I’m hurting so bad. I wish there was something that would take away the pain. I can’t handle this much longer.
All I want to know is that I’m not alone… that I’m important to someone. Maybe I want a hug sometimes. Maybe I want someone to tell me I’m not going crazy, that’s it’s not really my fault.
I need to know I didn’t do this to myself and that I’m not the cause of this horrible thing that’s happening to me. I want someone to be here for me and help me through this. I need someone stronger than me… I’m so weak. I need someone who is strong enough for both of us.
I need to know you’ll be there for me… I need to know you’ll never give up on me. That you’ll never leave me. That you’ll never go away. And I need someone to help me not give up on myself. I want to know that I’m important. That I matter. That I’m loved. Tell me that things will get better. It helps to have someone to talk to… it helps to say something… thank you for listening… thank you for not leaving me alone anymore. more monologues about depression

Misplaced

In the female drama monologue, MISPLACED, M explains the effects of what she experiences when she feels disconnected from life and herself.

M: I listen inside myself to the hum…this humming sound, between my ears, deep within my brain somewhere…when I listen to it, when I pay attention to it, everything goes into slow motion.  My concentration intensifies and the humming gets worse; worse in the sense that, there’s a danger that starts bubbling up in the pit of my stomach and then a vibration echoes through me, through the rest of my body…I start to get mixed in my brain; panicky, worrisome; a tunnel I’m trapped inside of or a drowning kind of sensation but more like an emotional drowning, not so much physical…

It can last for hours and hours…one time it even lasted for days and even when I regained my sense of self, it took me time to feel like me again.  I don’t know what you call this…maybe I’m losing my mind and it frightens me to be honest…I’ve never uttered a word to this before to anyone I know…thank you for hearing me out.

The Darkness

I wish I was scared of the dark. I mean most people are, but I always find comfort sitting in it. Get home, shower, lay in bed. Don’t turn the lights on. My daily routine. Sit in the dark and listen to music. A vampire. That’s what my mom calls me. It’s not that I don’t like the light, you just think differently in the dark. You find comfort in it like a big black blanket wrapped around you.

You just let go not knowing what could happen. Your mind travels to so many places and everything’s fine. Until you realize you’re alone. The feeling of loneliness hits you. You have no one to talk to. Everyone’s asleep. You’ve thought so much that the big black blanket is now suffocating you. So, tell me is the darkness safe or dangerous?.

sad monologues about depression

Shadows of the Past

by D. M. Larson 
 
(Janey is in a garden watching the stars in the sky.  She becomes upset when someone approaches)
 
JANEY
I was hoping I could be alone out here in the garden. No one ever comes here in the evening. I wanted to be here for the stars. 

(Angrily)

I don’t want anything – and I don’t want to talk anymore – can I please be by myself? That’s all you’ve done here – poke, prop, and pry – I’ve never felt so violated before – I just want to be left alone.
 
(Pause)

I don’t like being around anyone. I get upset when I’m in a room full of people. 

(Pause. afraid)

I get really scared – I almost feel like I can’t breathe – I just need to be alone, Doctor – I know you don’t really care – you’re simply doing your job – once I’m “better” you’ll be though with me – then it’s on to another patient – you’re just like anyone else –
 
(Almost shouting)

You probably haven’t cared about any patient in years – that would be unprofessional – an unnecessary burden on your conscience – Please, just go – I know what I need better than you –
 
You’re not God, you know – you don’t have the powers to cure everything – I know what you can and can’t do -Go on – get out of here!

(Pause – she gets an evil smile)
 
Relax? 

(Laughs)

How can I relax with you bothering me all the time? If there’s another way, I’d like to know how –

(Pause. Turns away)

Is there anything else you wish to pry out of me?  No?  Good – then goodnight –
 
(JANEY starts weeding the flower bed)
 
I thought you were leaving –  Sorry but I’m busy – I’m killing weeds – Cultivating beauty by killing the ugly – it’s an odd practice – in reality its weeds on which the soil feeds –

(Stops)

But few people find the truth as fulfilling – If only you had planted something more useful – beans, or tomatoes, then the sacrifice might be worthwhile – but flowers, they’re more difficult to justify – Frail beauty – that’s all they are – cultivated for weakness – and has very little nutritional value – in the end they never can satisfy – always a disappointment as they wither and die – Frail and weak – a light frost would snap its neck –

(JANEY breaks the head off a flower)
 
So easily smitten by one little insect –

(JANEY holds up broken bud to a weed)

The choice is so easy for most – Yet it’s not – I suppose most people don’t give it much thought –

(Looks up at sky)

I know a story of a man who had a plant which most called a useless weed – it turned out the weed was a cure for cancer – but the weed was nearly extinct so no one got the cure – do you believe in such a thing? Do you believe in anything? 

(Pause)

Oh, never mind – I guess to you most beliefs are only fables –

(Throws both plants down – upset)
 
No one really cares, do they? They pay you to care – everywhere it’s the same way – People should only fix what’s broken – Why couldn’t you all just leave me alone? Nothing was wrong with me before you found me – I was happy at home – alone – shut out from then world – protected –
 
(Pause. Calms a moment. Grows sadder)

I had to be alone – I – I needed to hide – I had no choice – I had to get away – I couldn’t live like the others anymore –
 
(Angry)

Why do you want to know all this?
 
(Furious)

I said I don’t want to talk anymore! Leave me alone! I don’t have to tell you anything! I’m not a little kid.

(Bends over and buries her face in her hands)
 
There’s so much you don’t know – I just need to be alone – Why can’t they leave me alone? 

(She sees something)

But I’m never alone – There’s always someone – Or something – Around me – Following me –  They’re always near – Spirits – Ghosts – Shadows of the past – Ghosts have always been with me. Not by choice. At least not on my part. It just happens. I don’t want to believe… but they’ve forced themselves on me. 

(Thoughtful) 

Perhaps the old Indian woman did it to me. I lived in her house too long as a child.
 
(Looks at ceiling)
 
At night, footsteps paced the ceiling. Over and over, an impatient march, forever in step to a silent drum. If only this had been my only encounter, I could dismiss it. “The house is settling,” my mother said… but this wasn’t all the house did. Lights dimmed and glowed. Her ghostly will stronger than the new world magic conjured by GE. I slept in my room. Well, not really slept.
Sleep was never something I did much of, especially early on. My worries at seven far outweighed my need for sleep. Awake. Forever awake. My father had left me. My mother… I was always worried mother would leave me too. I wish the ghosts would go. But they linger. Always lingering.
Never really gone. The old Indian woman was my first. She rocked at my beside, all in white. My eyes met hers. Her eyes giving me a worried look as if I were the one who had expired. Fear making my head sink deeply into covers. My eyes entombed by my lids. How long she waited, I’ll never know. By dawn I ventured a look. She was gone… or perhaps she was never there. Thinking the apparition a dream, I told my family and their eyes betrayed them.
Others had known her too. Mother had a vision. She did not go questing for it though. The old Indian, young to most who saw her, once lived on this land. A servant. A girl died here, she at her side… at her side rocking… and the girl died. I wish I could have been there for her too… Spirits dog me. Just when I no longer believe, they appear. Flashing white lights. A cold touch. They return. Even now. But this time it was too much. Another place. Another spirit. This time it was someone I knew.
 
(Slowly turns to panic during following)
 
It started with the call. The news that she had gone away. Finding myself in tears. Tears sapping me dry. Would the tears ever stop? Pain like a thick metal pole shoved up your ass.
 
(Tries to calm herself but panics again)
 
I had lost everything. An emptiness replaced love, anxious to find, nothing there… no body anyway, but something. Something that opens doors, something leaving tissue by the bed. The dog barking at nothing… but something. Finding things in new places, things missing. The locked door… open.
 
(Tries to calm herself)
 
Explanations fly. Knowledge our protection.
 
(Thinks a moment. Frowns and shivers)
 
It began with the cold. Spots of cold. A moment of normal then cold, as if the heat were sucked into another dimension. These don’t bother me as much as the touch. A handless touch of nothing. Something grabbed by arm but no one was there.
 
(Pulls back in fear and runs. She falls to the ground)
 
I ran for bed, buried myself in covers and waited for dawn.
 
(She curls up in a ball. Pause)
 
You’re never too old to hide under the covers. Wrapping yourself up into a cocoon. Hoping that when you emerge life will be butterflies again.
 
(She sighs and sits up)
 
But only children believe in butterflies.
 
(She rises again)
 
Adults know… or learn… that life is full of moths, caterpillars, and worms.
 
(Pause)
 
But when I’m alone… fear sets in. I wonder… do I really want to be alone? Maybe their visits comfort me.

(She seems to see someone else)
 
Was it you that touched me that day?
 
(Sadly)
 
And if you are still here, why do I feel so alone?
 
(Sees Doctor again and gets upset, almost in a panic)
 
Please, stay away. She won’t visit me if you’re here. Please. Go!
 
(Turns back to the new person she sees)

Mother? Mother is that you?
 
(Sits up quickly – startled)
 
Mother!
 
(Breathing hard – cries – the person is gone – she calms down) 
 
I’m sorry – I’m so sorry – There’s usually no one to listen – at least no one who’s willing to bend – Why are you still here? What’s the use of talking if it doesn’t do anyone any good?  

(sighs – doctor won’t leave)
 
Do you believe in an afterlife? Like heaven and angels and pearly gates – free of all Earthly strife – I think it’s a lot less defined than that – I think maybe we all end up a part of greater whole – a tiny molecule in a bigger being or a little star in a vast universe – we’ll return to where we came from – whether it’s God, the Great Spirit, or something else – but I know that’s where we will be – Everything around me seems to point to the same conclusion – “ashes to ashes – dust to dust” – where we begin is where we end – the Earth gives us life through what we eat and we give her life when we die – the source is the finish – rain that feeds the river comes from the sea – to each beginning there is a definable end – 

(she looks at the sky and smiles)

I know it’s getting dark but I don’t want to go back inside anymore – I don’t like my room – this is where I want to stay –

(Looks at doctor)

You can’t keep me caged any longer – The locked doors won’t hold me anymore – Did you know I can fly?

(She looks up at the night sky)
 
I’m leaving all the Earthly matters to you – I belong near a different sun –

(Points to a star)

I wish I were that star over there – The little one next to Orion – that way I’d never be lonely – It’s so free  out there – no one can touch you or hurt you – you can simply shine – People don’t like it when you shine – that’s why stars are up there and not down here – humans think the brightness is offensive –

(Pause – looks and smiles at the stars)

My mother is a star now – She always seemed like one to me – but stars don’t like it very well where they can’t be stars anymore –

(Pause – grows sad)
 
I want to be a star – stars having meaning – stars I understand – Now those stars up there in the sky have staying power. I can always count on them. I can always look up and know they’ll be there for me. The stars on Earth burn out too quickly. They have a moment where they shine so bright but then poof. They’re gone. A memory. Sometimes not even that. But with the stars in the sky, I know they’ll be there night after night, always there for me to make a wish. 
 
I make wishes all the time. I watch for the first star each night and say… 
 
“Star light star bright, first star I see tonight… I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight…” I always make the same wish, but I can’t tell you what it is. Then it might not come true. I really want it too. It would change my life.
 
I would always go to wishing wells with lucky pennies… Those pennies you find that people have lost… Unlucky for them… Lucky for me… Then I toss them in the wishing well in front of the old museum. And I toss them in the fountain at the park… Each time making my wish.
 
Have you ever wanted anything that badly in your life? So badly that you can’t imagine your future without it?
 
I would be so sad if my life wasn’t different… If things didn’t change… If I was still stuck here… In this life. But I won’t stop wishing… I can’t…
 
I don’t want to be left with nothing… I want some meaning… A reason things my life turned out this way.  I want this suffering to be worth while.
 
END

UNBROKEN

by D. M. Larson

You found me, cast aside, lost and broken. You searched through the rubble to find the severed pieces of my life, and slowly fit them back together again.

Before you, I felt like I was dying. The panic consumed me and squeezed the life from my heart. But I didn’t care. When we are weighed down by the torture of hate, we don’t fear death. There was nothing to live for… until I met you.

You rebuilt me and fixed what was broken. You made me better and pieced me back together in new ways that improved me. With the right parts, I was reborn… and life felt real… and right for the first time.

  END OF MONOLOGUE

WASTELAND

by D. M. Larson

We live in a world where lies keep us quiet. Lies comfort us and allow us to go about our lives without worry. Why worry when we know nothing of the truth? Every wish is granted and this manufactured reality protects us from the unknown.

Don’t meddle in things you don’t understand. Be thankful for what you have. Don’t let whispers of the outside world cloud your judgement. It’s a wasteland outside these walls. These walls protect us and keep us safe. Our leaders watch over us. Always watching.

They know everything about us: our every need, our every desire, our fears, our thoughts. They know us better than we know ourselves. Don’t bother with fantasies of what was and what could be. That’s not important anymore. What’s important is that we have each other and we have everything we need to live. We don’t need anything else.

END OF MONOLOGUE

 

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