As an adult with a permanent job, you spend more time at work than seeing your family and friends. With all this time that you are at work, it is not strange that you are attracted to a colleague or vice versa. You have probably also experienced that a colleague fell in love with another colleague, after which this feeling turned out to be mutual.
This can happen to you too; either you like a colleague or the colleague likes you. It often starts with small hints that make you doubt whether your colleague is flirting with you and perhaps has feelings for you.
Deciphering whether a colleague is just nice to you or wants a relationship with you is not easy; if you try to provoke it, it will even cost you your job if you don’t handle it properly. It is the verbal and non-verbal signals that can tell you if a colleague likes you. Watch these signs if you want to know if a colleague has a crush on you.
1. Positive body language
The way we move, talk and make gestures tells a lot about how we think about another person. For women it is gestures such as licking the lips and playing with the hair, for men this expresses itself in the chest and looks back as you walk past. Then there is also bending towards each other in a conversation, mirroring and of course the power of touch . All these signals can tell you a lot about what someone thinks about you and maybe more than likes.
2. Frequent eye contact
Nobody helping; If we find someone attractive, we often look at this person. If you notice that your colleague often looks at you and may even seek frequent eye contact, this is a sign that he or she likes you. Add a smile regularly as the eyes cross and the signal suddenly gets stronger.
3. Overly helpful
It is very nice for that one colleague to always help you if you are unable to find a solution, but if this happens regularly, it goes beyond helpfulness. To be close to you and to make a good impression on you, the person can look for reasons to help you with something. You often see this in the workplace when there is a new colleague. If one colleague helps you much more than others then this is a sign that your colleague may have an office crash on you.
4. Record for you
Are you encountering problems when performing your work, as a result of which you have a disagreement with another colleague? Do not worry. The colleague who likes you is happy to compete with the other colleague. If someone at work behaves as your personal bodyguard then you can assume that this colleague is very fond of you.
5. Casual meetings
If we like someone, we want to be as close as possible to the person in the area and where possible start a conversation. Coincidental encounters with a colleague that you suddenly encounter more often than usual are usually not coincidental.
This can be during the break if you run your regular round, at the copier in the hallway or at the smoking room of the company. The person who likes you will undoubtedly have a good excuse why he or she encounters you every time. It may seem coincidental, but while you are not aware of it, these are the first dates you have on the shop floor.
6. Questions about your relationship status
Someone who is attracted to you wants to know how things are going with your relationship status . Whether you have been in a relationship, how long you have been single and you name it. Pay attention to the subtle questions asked to you. The questions about your relationship life say a lot about the intentions of the person. They are often questions to find out if you are available for a relationship.
7. Private life
A person who is interested in you would like to let you know how interesting his or her life is outside office hours. During the conversations you catch that the person has an active life and you are curious to know what you think about it. This is a clear hint that the person not only cares about what you think about him or her but is also interested in seeing you outside of work.
The signal becomes even stronger if you receive messages from a colleague outside office hours. When it comes to work-related matters, this may not apply, but private conversations per Whatsapp after working hours are often a clear signal that he or she likes you .
8. Other colleagues say it
Maybe you do not realize it yourself, but your colleagues do; there is someone who likes you. In the workplace, colleagues keep a close eye on each other and before you know it, there is a rumor that someone has an eye on you. Either the person confessed it to another colleague or your colleagues have a feeling. If your colleagues tell you that another colleague likes you then there is the chance that this is really the case.
Is the interest mutual? Flirting in the workplace is not prohibited in the Netherlands. One in five Dutch people sometimes do it . It may be a taboo within the company where you work, but a relationship still falls under the private domain. For the company, it often means a possible source of unrest in the workplace, especially if the relationship ends at some point.
For this reason, many companies do not want colleagues to start mutual relationships. However, that does not mean that you may fall in love with who you want. Did you drop your eye on that new colleague and wonder if your colleague likes you too? Then you now know what to look out for.
Tips if a coworker likes you
Tip 1: Check how your company deals with relationships.
The first priority of the company you work for … has nothing to do with love.
In fact, in most companies it’s all about hard profit.
If you start to flirt or even get something with a male colleague, your boss will start to think about it.
I don’t dare tell you that. That depends on his or her personality and view of life , but even more on the company you work for.
Your boss also has a boss. And, of course, he doesn’t want to get in trouble because you and your office lover do something together.
But you have that in common … because of course you also want to prevent that it has adverse consequences, or that you even lose your job.
Fortunately, you cannot be fired in the Netherlands because you have a sweetheart in the workplace. Transferring is also not allowed.
So hopefully that reassures you.
That being said….
If your boss really wants to get rid of you, he will find an excuse. A reorganization, poor assessment …
You have to watch out for that.
You want to decorate that nice colleague, without having to scare your boss against you.
And before you do this important test, I advise you to do your homework first.
“Find out what the rules are.”
Try to find out in the corridors if there are people who are currently in a relationship with each other.
And even more important: look at whether people have got into trouble in the past because they got into something together.
Has there never been a fuss about it? Beautiful! Then you can start right away.
Have people died or problems on the floor? Then it is better to be careful or to keep your decorating attempt completely secret.
Tip 2: Decorate your boss or a direct colleague, but not your subordinate.
This is a rule of thumb that prevents you from losing your job.
Many companies say that they do not think it is cool if colleagues get a relationship on the same level.
But in practice? They say nothing about it.
Just to be sure, check this in the gossip circuit, as I taught you at tip 1.
“But a relationship with a subordinate …”
That’s not handy.
Companies are more inclined to take action against such a relationship.
That is because people are afraid that it will not benefit the team atmosphere.
Suppose everyone in the workplace knows about it. The moment you give him a positive assessment, you can be accused of favoring him.
And this is just 1 of the ways that things can go wrong.
“That being said….”
If he’s your boss, you don’t have to worry.
You will not be able to blame you for being higher in the hierarchy.
In this case you have more power.
Be careful with that.
Tip 3: Put yourself in her shoes.
You naturally want to be careful, purely to protect your own career.
But of course that also applies to her!
He also wants to prevent him from having problems with it.
And in that respect there is another danger lurking for him….
“An accusation of sexual harassment.”
Every man regularly hears about sexual harassment in his working life.
Not many companies have strict rules about relationships in the workplace. And when they are there, they are not always observed.
But almost all companies have rules about sexual harassment. And if they are violated?
Then you have the dolls dancing.
Of course assault or worse are not done, and it is good that there are rules against that.
But those rules go much further than just assault.
No. Sexual intimidation is also understood to mean, for example, if someone puts a hand on your shoulder while you are not waiting for this.
Or if someone looks at you too long.
And the only criterion is whether the person being touched does not want it. Regardless of whether it has said something or not.
Somehow this is only good. Rules about this protect you from someone who behaves creepy. No woman (or man) is waiting for a colleague who crosses borders.
But it also has a major disadvantage if you find a colleague attractive.
“He can’t smell what you’re waiting for.”
And because men also know that they are usually the hunters …
… they are afraid to show too much interest.
After all, they have all had a seminar in which it was made clear that you should not look at a woman for too long.
Or they have heard stories from other men who are tapped on their fingers. Even though they might not mean harm.
This means that if you go flirting with a man, he can quickly get into a fight if he likes you.
He may appreciate it, but on the other hand he will be very careful. To prevent that he comes across as creepy, and that he is punished by the employer for this.
“So you have to help him a little.”
Be aware of his caution. If you see this, then this is not the time to send mixed signals.
That is, if you don’t want the flirt to stop.
How do you make sure that the flirtation starts?
Tip 4: Spend a lot of time with him alone.
He will never ask you out in the presence of all your colleagues.
If you hoped for this, I have to disappoint you.
Men are coward in it …
But maybe you understand a bit why through the tips above.
Spending a lot of time alone with him has major advantages:
- You get to know each other well. You see how he behaves when you are together and when he is solving problems. In this way you discover how it works, whether you can rely on it and how much you want it.
- You can flirt with him without anyone else noticing.
- I already said that the chances are not that he will make a move on his own. But if your colleague is an exceptionally brave dodo, he will get the chance if you are alone together.
Does he not dare (yet)? Then it’s time to grab my favorite, old TV game.
Tip 5: Give him subtle hints that you like him.
OK. So he behaves a little cowardly and there is not much action to be found with him.
Just remember he’s at work. And that he has it in him. But that he hides it because of the situation.
Time for you to get it out.
“Show him that he has a chance with you.”
You want to give him hints that you are open to him.
Before I tell you how you can best do this, I first want to tell you …
… how it should not be done.
“Before you walk naked into your boss’s office …”
One of my friends once experienced being jumped by a female colleague in the elevator.
Sounds like the start of an exciting office romance, right?
He was shocked. He didn’t realize that she liked him until she started rubbing him in the elevator.
He didn’t even find her uninteresting. But it went so fast that he didn’t have time to think about it properly.
He pushed her away and didn’t talk for a few days. It has always remained a bit awkward.
Then remember that men are used to hunting. But that they will be careful because it is at work.
If you are going to flirt with him then you want to be a little subtle.
He notices that, hey, she might like me.
Then he can make the decision whether he wants to conquer you.
And if he decides to do this, then you want to encourage him a little. By subtly showing him that you like what he does.
You just have to give him the idea that he might have a chance. And when it starts, you naturally want to maintain that idea. That is often enough.
But how do you do that?
Tip 6: Give him a compliment.
This is an office safe way to attract his attention.
Give him a compliment if he wears a new suit (or t-shirt).
A simple “you look good” will never get bored.
“But watch out…”
Don’t expect a man to show that he appreciates your compliment.
Most will find it ridiculous or a little uncomfortable.
But we all secretly like it.
If you see that he cannot handle it well, then help him a little.
Ask him an open question right away. This is how you break the tension. And he can enjoy it in peace afterwards.
Tip 7: Touch it.
Do you want a simple trick that makes you look nicer, longer and more attractive in the eyes of your crush?
Touch him .
It doesn’t have to be very long. Just for a moment.
“What effect does this have on a man?”
It makes him aware of your sexuality.
A small touch may be sufficient for this. It attracts our attention enormously.
So do you want to subtly show that you are interested?
- Put a hand on his shoulder for a moment when you stand behind him.
- If you are bent over papers, brush your hand (unobtrusively) along his to indicate something.
- Try to sit or stand next to him as much as possible. Getting close is not a problem and who knows…. Maybe your thighs touch each other for a moment.
Tip 8: Share in his humor.
You are at work.
That’s pretty serious.
Not very conducive to a nice game of flirting.
You can break the ice …
By making it lighter.
And the fastest way?
No, you don’t have to go joke on the family canteen when your semi-funny uncle Jos jokes on a family birthday.
But suppose you are alone and he is joking …
… then laugh about it!
That is very flattering for a man.
It is not the most important thing to be funny … but above all that you show that you find him funny.
And does he wait a little while when it comes to jokes? Then make one yourself. Purely to break the ice.
Because every top footballer needs a good pass from time to time.
Tip 9: Make sure he asks you out.
If you have carried out the previous tips well, and you have caught his attention …
… then he will work for you.
Is it not yet ready?
Then you will find more tips here to seduce him .
Once it is clear that he likes you, then it is time for the next step.
“Getting to know each other better.”
Look. I understand that the Christmas drink may seem like a good time to decorate it.
But it is even smarter to ensure that you meet each other outside of work.
Even if it is “just to talk about that one file.”
Because certain rules apply in the office …
… but outside he has more room for maneuver.
And if you want to decorate it, it’s only good.
“But don’t wait until he asks you out.”
I already said it, but just to be sure I will do it again.
The chance that he dares this is not great. You better propose yourself to meet outside of working hours.
And you really don’t have to “make it a thing” by asking him on a date.
Keep the proposal nice and innocent. If he likes you, he will know what you mean.
And if you have agreed to meet outside of working hours, the spark can really jump.
You flirted with him, and “what happened”.
Let me be the first to congratulate you. You must be very nice together.
But now it’s time to decide who you’re going to tell.
Tip 10: To whom you will tell.
“Was it a one night stand?”
Then nobody needs to know. It is unnecessary information.
Even if you have more playtime in the copying loft, I don’t think you should hang this on the big clock.
“Does he have someone else at home?”
Have you been a crook and have you decorated an occupied colleague?
Then it seems like a good idea to keep this a secret.
And it also doesn’t benefit your reputation if everyone at work hears about this, right?
“But if it gets serious …”
Then keeping a secret costs a lot of energy.
You will then have to carefully check whether you can tell.
“Start with your boss.”
If he has to hear it from the corridors, he may not like it.
It is an ego thing. So start with your boss and then tell your colleagues.
And do you have something with your new flame that lasts longer than one night …
Tip 11: Don’t let the work suffer.
All wonderful that you have something, but remember that you are at work.
And that is all about 1 thing: getting the job done.
As long as that goes well, nothing is wrong.
But if he has bought the wrong sprinkles brand and you want to express your indignation about this …
Do not do this during the weekly team meeting.
Or in the canteen.
Or in the workplace.
Or in a radius of 5 kilometers from the office.
But just give it the wind at your home.
And do you have to work with him? Then keep it professional.
The result is that you command respect from your colleagues.
Because that sprinkles are very important to you …
And rightly so, I don’t find the wrong brand to be hardened either …
but your colleagues have nothing on it.
So hold back … and keep work and love a bit separate.
That is it!
Now you have some tips to seduce your office crush and to prevent problems with it.
Have fun with it. Will you send me baby photos if you succeed?
“Talking about success …”
If you are tempting him you obviously do not want a lukewarm response.
No, you want to drive him crazy.
And how do you do that?
You can read that in an email that I send you if you leave your address below.
I do that the way I can send you this tip privately.
It is namely the number 1 secret to make a man crazy about you. Which is really very important if you want a relationship (or just want to flirt) with a nice guy.
So sign up below, and I’ll see you on the other side;)