What is permissible in the marriage bed?
Intimacy is much more than just a physical act. Good intimacy is the reflection of a good relationship. It is the coronation of what is right in a good marriage. The Bible prohibits intimacy intercourse outside the marital relationship. If you are happy with your husband or (wife) in any (intimacy intercourse act) is ok, you are not in sin.
1) THE HAPPY INTIMITY OF THE COUPLE –
Social scientists generally divide life into the following areas that influence us to have a well-balanced life:
The natural area also includes the intimate experience of the couple.
Speaking of intimate life, many think that intimacy is everything in marriage. Many people expect an excellent intimacy relationship to be the basis of a good marriage, but it is not necessarily so. The opposite is the right thing: an excellent marital relationship is the basis of a good intimacy relationship.
Intimacy is a gift from God for their children; He created us with intimacy impulses.
The Bible says: “Adam knew his wife Eve, who conceived and gave birth to Cain” Genesis 4: 1.
Knowing in the Holy Scriptures means “intimacy relations.” It can, therefore, be understood that although it speaks of a physical act, the verse refers to a knowledge that includes sharing, agreeing, revealing oneself totally with one another.
That is the fullness of intimacy union. Why? Because through an intimate relationship, both man and woman, tell or discover each other as never before, so that they can communicate at even more profound levels of life.
Healthy intimacy satisfaction is the result of the harmony that reigns in other areas within marriage.
Only when the couple learn the meaning of genuine love, when both accept each other as they are, when they deal with the art of mutual appreciation, when they learn the principles of effective communication, when they take individual differences and preferences, when they adapt to a tolerant relationship of respect and mutual trust, is when they can expect to achieve a satisfactory intimacy experience.
Alla Fromme refers to the intimacy act as a “body conversation“, which means that both the body and the personality of the two come into mutual contact during intimacy union.
For there to be a intimacy adjustment, after marriage, it is necessary to allow time to pass. This worries many couples who thought to achieve instant harmony. Some studies show that less than 50% of couples experience satisfaction at the beginning of their marital life.
Four areas of intimacy that are vital to intimacy satisfaction
Four aspects of the relationship that contribute to good intimacy
1 – Verbal Relationship
This includes learning to know your spouse through conversation, spending time together. This is very significant for most women who usually want to be more linked to their partners through verbal intimacy before having pleasure in the physical act.
2 – Emotional Relationship
Mutually sharing deep feelings is an emotional relationship, which is vital for intimacy satisfaction. Mainly for women, because they respond better to the intimacy relationship when the whole relationship is open and affectionate when they feel that their husbands understand and value their feelings.
3 – Physical Relationship
When thinking about the physical relationship, feel more in terms of touches, caresses, hugs, kisses, and romance. The right kind of contact releases a pleasant and healing flow with chemical elements in the body of both of whom it touches and who is touched. The couple earns a lot when one reaches the other the right way.
4 – Spiritual Relationship
The spiritual relationship may be the highest degree of intimacy. Husband and wife can know each other when they both turn to God and know Him from the heart to heart. Spiritual intimacy can be obtained when the couple prays together; they worship together and frequent the church together. The spiritual relationship involves knowing each other in the context of shared faith.
Remember that intimacy performance is directly related to all areas of our feelings. If they appreciate each other as a person and with joy, we meet the everyday needs in other areas of life; we will have a strong and fiery intimacy relationship. The level at which we experience mutual intimacy satisfaction is probably an indicator of how well we are communicating, interesting, being honest, delighting, and feeling free with each other.
Take the intimacy initiative
Both men and women generally appreciate this. A change of pace strengthens the experience of the couple.
Take care of your appearance
Your partner will value your effort to be attractive.
Set aside more time to have pleasure in the intimacy experience – Do not hurry. Make this meeting an extraordinary moment for you.
Pay attention to the environment
There must be privacy because no one should interrupt that moment. The place must be prepared in the best possible way so that it can provide an excellent encounter (soft music, low lights, a well-groomed bed, a scented atmosphere); Everything is essential.
Express your desires
Use words like: “I love you,” “I need you,” “I’m crazy about you,” “You’re cute,” “I would marry you again.” These words have an extraordinary stimulus power. Tell your partner often these words and show him how much you like being with him/her.
Frequency of intimacy activity
Intimacy rate depends on several factors such as age, health, social pressure, work, emotional conditions, ability to communicate about issues related to intimacy, etc.
The couple is the one who must determine according to their conditions, how many times they will meet intimately. This can vary from couple to couple, from situation to situation, as well as from period to period.
Neither of them should, at any time, force the other to do what the other does not want, since love does not force, but rather respects. Remember that intimacy intercourse is a physical, emotional, and spiritual act.
ONLY FOR WOMEN
Understand his intimacy need
There will be times when you want to relate intimately with your husband even if the four areas of intimacy already analyzed are not precisely in the right place. For this reason, do not deprive yourself of this opportunity if you feel that your needs were not met.
Do not deprive your husband of the pleasure of intimately interacting with you
Sometimes, wives to whom their needs were not met or their perspectives were not reciprocated, they feel they have the right to punish their husbands, to avoid, refusing intimacy intercourse with the. Remember that you may be contributing to a distance between you, cooling down, and even breaking the relationship.
“The woman has no power over her own body, but the husband; Nor does the husband have authority over his own body, but the wife. Do not deny each other, unless for some time by mutual consent, to quietly engage in prayer; and come back together in one, so that Satan will not tempt you because of your incontinence.” I Corinthians 7: 4,5.
Find out what he likes
The man vibrates when his wife asks him what he wants about intimacy and tries to satisfy him. This does not mean that you have to open the hand of your personal or private convictions of intimacy activities that you consider offensive because there are limits on the intimate relationship within the marriage. But don’t forget that you can do many things that your husband imagines in his mind that you can grant him and have pleasure with this.
Introduce yourself in a intimacy way
Take advantage of those magical occasions when you take a relaxing bath, wear something hot, spread a little perfume around, decrease the light in the room, put on romantic music, in short, prepare the place for a special moment. Surely your husband will feel pleasure as much as you. This is a way to contribute so that there is variety, which is quite useful and healthy in intimacy life.
“We frequently talk about intimacy intercourse as” making love. “Strictly speaking, this is not true. The encounter of two bodies cannot make love. It can only express and enrich the love that already exists. And the quality of the experience will depend on the quality of love that is expressed” David R Mace in his book “Who God United.”
“Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed without blemish; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge them” Hebrews 13: 4.
Professed Christians should not enter into the marriage relationship until the matter has been carefully considered, with prayer, and from a high point of view, to see if such a union can glorify God. Then, they should give due consideration to the outcome of each of the privileges of the marriage relationship; and the sanctified principle should constitute the very basis of all action.- RH, September 19, 1899.
ONLY FOR MEN
Be romantic – Women love to feel loved, valued, admired, and wooed. Flowers, cards, notes, or a small gift can produce a surprising effect. Remember that if you want to have an excellent intimate encounter with your wife at night, the preparation will begin in the early hours of the day. Don’t also forget that women are attracted to what they hear.
Do not hurry
You will not lose anything if you spend more time touching, hugging, and caressing your wife. Ask her where and how she likes to be touched and be sensitive to her needs. Remember to contact her freely with caresses that do not necessarily lead to intimacy. Praise her, tell her how much you want her, and give her spontaneous hugs.
I don’t mean by this that you must have a well-worked body. I mean being clean, scented, shaved beard (some women don’t like a beard), with cologne, fresh sheets on the bed, and soft romantic music in the background.
Focus on satisfying your wife
Remember that you are stimulated by what you see, and automatically, you are ready for an intimate relationship. The man is like a gas fire, very soon it is hot, while the woman is like a wood fire, it takes more time, up to 40 minutes. Therefore wait until she gives you the signal that she is highly excited so that together, they can reach orgasm.
“We frequently talk about intimacy intercourse as” making love. “Strictly speaking, this is not true. The encounter of two bodies cannot make love. It can only express and enrich the love that already exists. On the quality of the experience will depend the quality of love that is expressed,” David R Mace in his book “Who God United.”
“Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed without blemish” Hebrews 13: 4.