Anxiety about going back to work after being a stay at home mom.
Tips for mothers who want to go back to work after a long time at home
- Do not feel guilty.
- Have patience and understanding, because “the first month is the most complicated due to the adaptation to new circumstances, being then easier to get into the routine.”
- Start the workday little by little.
- When you are with the baby, take advantage and enjoy the time.
1. Keep developing. This does not only have to be job-oriented, but you can also start a fun hobby. Just as Marlies chose to take sewing lessons first. This can help you discover what you enjoy doing.
2. School for stay-at-home mothers. They offer various office courses that are inexpensive, quick to complete and relatively easy to combine with the family situation.
3. Don’t be afraid because you haven’t worked for too long. Education can help you and shows that you are willing to develop yourself.
4. Make clear agreements with your partner. Certainly when you start a study. Studying takes time, and it is very annoying to be distracted while studying.
5. Stay close to yourself! If you take too much hay on your fork, you won’t be able to hold it for long. Children keep going, and you will have to put in a little extra effort to get back to work. Remember that the key here is balance. Stay in the balance!
6. Explain to your children why they might go to the daycare centre and what this means for you as a father or mother. Explain why you are going to work again. They understand much more than you think, and that’s how they feel involved. It will be a common choice.
7. Have faith in yourself and your abilities. Nothing is more complicated than raising children, you have already proven that you can, and so you can handle any job.
8. Go for it! If you want it, it works!
Who do we leave the baby?
While the mother is working, the baby has to be under the care of a family member, a caregiver or a daycare centre. “The cheapest option, comfortable and trustworthy but complicated is family but, because there is an emotional relationship, it is sometimes difficult to set limits,” says Mas.
However, if we choose to leave the baby with a caregiver, we talk about a professional who “usually has experience, who works for a salary, which implies a commitment and the possibility of establishing rules and limits,” explains the portal specialist of Psychology online Siquia, who advises to have a higher level of confidence when dealing with unknown people.
Another option is to leave our child in a nursery but, if we opt for this alternative, Mas recommends not choosing the first visited. The information that we need to have of these establishments must be about their facilities, their activities and the training of the professionals who work in them.
Extracting milk with a breast pump or asking for a reduction in the workday are some options to continue breastfeeding.
Working after maternity leave
When I returned to work for the first time after my pregnancy, I had no idea what the impact would be on my life. On the one hand, I had a little kid thereof three months that I suddenly had to take to daycare and grandma for a few days a week.
On the other hand, I had the person Muriel, who aspired to a specific career and who still had in mind. Combining motherhood with work has proved to be one of the biggest challenges that I still face daily.
Although it is a considerable challenge to leave your baby at home or in the hands of others, it is possible, so I discovered more with every baby that I had. And after three babies I can say that I collected a good number of golden tips that make it a lot easier to get back to work after your maternity leave.
This is how I combined the new motherhood with my work ambitions and career:
1. Do not start on Monday, but somewhere in the middle of the week
Somehow it seems perfectly logical and the right thing to start ‘fresh’ on Monday. But why exactly? If you work for 4 or 5 days, it can be quite tough to get through that whole week without having to worry. If you start on Wednesday, it will be weekend again before you know it and you can spend two or three wonderful long days with your baby.
2. Adjust (if possible) your work schedule (temporarily) to have an excellent combination
In my case, I worked far from home, and I had to travel for an hour. This meant that I brought my baby to the daycare centre early in the morning and only picked it up after six in the evening. The result: always rushed and stress about trains that did not run on time or (worse still) suddenly traffic jams.
Muzzle that I had my parents live around the corner, but my god, I was quickly done with that. By making agreements with your boss about starting early and going home soon or working from home, it is much easier to manage a new family.
3. Do you have auxiliaries on hand and a backup plan?
As described above, your auxiliaries are invaluable. In my case, my saving Englishes were my father and mother who were more than happy to pick up my little boys (standard) or ad hoc (if my husband or I were late). It is lovely to have a daycare centre for a few days, but if you are new, you don’t want to get stressed. Since many people do not have their families living in the neighbourhood, you can also think of a dear neighbour or a co-mother. In that case, see 6!
4. Learn to say no better
Were you before your children got a little more flexible and did you run extra hard for other colleagues or bosses; your life has changed completely, and you have probably already earned your spurs. So learn to say no to tasks or things that are not your responsibility.
5. Be honest and open to colleagues
It might be strange to tell that young single colleague about breastfeeding, sleepless nights and the emotion you feel for that little creature. Yet openness is an asset that will help you a lot. You create understanding through it. In my case, I all had women and many mothers around me. But now that I work with many young people, I find it helpful when I explain how my evenings, nights and weekends look like. Not to mention the early rise at 06.00 in the early morning.
6. Create new BMFs quickly through childcare or puff club
Hey, you’re not alone. And you’ve probably discovered a whole group of modern women who are all in the same boat. Via the pregnancy yoga or at childcare. Your new BMFs. Why not combine your powers and help each other out a little when it comes out. On Tuesday, for example, I often took the daughter of a new girlfriend, went to eat her and she picked her up after work. She did the same for me another day.
7. There is someone else. Your partner
Because as a mother you have been on leave for a long time and perhaps (breastfeeding) are more physically bound to your few-month-old baby, your partner is still there. With all the changes and discussions concerning paternity leave, it is very nice that you will have the opportunity to pick up work faster at this time. In any case, we see many more fathers than they used to be in the schoolyard or take the little ones to the daycare centre. And that is a proper development for everyone on all sides.
Believe in yourself
The last but certainly not the least important tip: believe in yourself. Yes, you have been at home, have taken care of the kids and are now part of the re-entering mothers group. But that does not mean that you are no longer good at your job! Or in the new dream job that is waiting for you.
Many women are a lot less confident when they want to go back to work than just after graduation. Do not! If you have succeeded in raising those barking, should it be possible to find work, right? Decreased self-confidence makes sure that things don’t work out.
Work on your self-confidence. An employer will not hire you quickly if he or she already detects doubts or uncertainties with you. And what’s more, it doesn’t need anything, all that negativity that sits between your ears. You have done well for years at home with the kids. And now it’s time to work on yourself again. You can be very proud of yourself!