What are twin souls ? How do you know that you have found your twin soul – or twin flame? Read on for an explanation of the signals, phases and more …
Phase 1 of growth in a spiritual love relationship: Self
We can be brief about the first phase. This phase is about yourself. “I need x, and these are my limits.” Dependence is a keyword in this phase. Men are male, and women are female. This is really from the past. For example, the woman wanted to be beautiful to the man so that he wants her.
Phase 2 of growth in a spiritual love relationship: Other
Phase 2 is characterized by independence. This phase is about growth for others, growth of the world, sharing, working together, giving something for the whole.
This came up sharply in the 60s and 70s. The man became sensitive and feminine: he had long hair, expressed his feelings, made singing together, chat, feel emotions, enjoy nature, look cared for, wear earrings, All things that women always did.
The woman also became male. Independent business women who make decisions, set boundaries, et cetera. Women emancipated and became more assertive. They no longer have to be beautiful for men: they are concerned with less superficial matters, such as peace, harmony, and cooperation.
So phase 2 is: “You need this, I take care of you.” You can’t get happy by getting what you want. You also have to think about what others want.
In phase 2, a wall is built around your heart. That also means that you are not prepared to fully step into the male or female. You respect the limits of the other. “My life is complete, but I am missing something …”
Phase 3 of growth in a spiritual love relationship: Unity
Phase 3 is of a completely different level: What does it matter what I want (phase 1) and what you want (phase 2)? What becomes important at this stage: what should we do to stir up Love so that we can give our deepest gifts so that the Divine can move through us? How can Love flow more fully through all of us, even if we have to give up our personal preferences?
This third phase involves releasing boundaries and releasing our sense of self. You have built it up for years, so it is difficult to let it go. But that is necessary because what you want is a complete surrender to someone else’s heart — being taken over by Love itself. Where do you get happiness if you live in the service of the greater whole? You are being lived by something bigger.
This phase requires that you trust each other. The first two phases were about trusting yourself: the other knows what you need. But now we offer ourselves to be lived by a love that is greater than our own preferences.
This phase is not about seeking Love and light, but about offering it. Give your deepest self to the world. We have to grow for that. In this phase, you will support each other in each other’s mission, each other’s spirituality, in opening each other’s hearts.
“This is the part of my life that I offer my wife.” You give Love. This makes phase 3 a Divine phase. You will realize that everything is changing. You feel: everything passes. For example, what you create in this world, your relationships So give and let go, give, let go. t’s all about surrender and giving our deepest male and female gifts. Your whole life is like a gift to the world, even though it is sometimes not accepted.
Retaining your gift to the world is suffering. Always give this gift of presence to everyone.
In this third phase, you are busy giving freedom, Love, and depth to your partner. You are not searching for yourself. The man is now also the feminine and is no longer looking for it. Every light, every form is you, is consciousness. Together, you and your wife are relaxed, realizing that you are her. She is your light, you are her depth, and there is no difference. Consciousness (the masculine) and light (the feminine) have merged.
You become one with each other: let go of distance and difference. “We have always known each other. We have always loved each other. Become one with me if you dare! Give me nothing less than your heart. Your deepest heart. “In phase 3, we also feel that we are not separated from other people (of course we are at a certain level).
We love everyone in the world. Our heart, therefore, becomes an extremely sensitive and vulnerable organ because it feels. We live in an unknowable magical representation of Love.
In phase 3, you start to trust parts of your partner more than yourself. You become complete in the other. You rid yourself of the need to animate your own feminine essence. You begin to become complete by receiving your partners female by trusting that. She becomes the other half that you so needed to become complete.
Nothing is more attractive than a woman in phase 3. She lets her full light shine, knowing that she is completely attractive: she uses it to open the man, to inspire him to deeper Love. Nothing is more attractive than that.
In this phase, you feel: who am I? The spectator, the witness of everything. You are not your name, your body, whose cells are completely different every so many year, not your mind, but you are still the same person.
So you’re the only thing that doesn’t change. Consciousness itself. That infinite consciousness is masculine. Relax (meditate, contemplate) in what came before your birth, what is now, and whatever you will be after your death. Who are you around this life? Be founded on that which never began and can never end. Let all your actions in your life be based on the feeling of I am consciousness; I love the world, how can I give that Love to the world? How can I express my purpose in this way?
This can be done through formal moments of meditation, prayer, moments of no distraction, isolation … For example, half an hour or an hour a day, to make contact with your deepest purpose and reconnect with your true source. Stop doing, start feeling. Over time, the coming hours, weeks, months, that source will softly communicate with you and tell you what it wants to do. You then feel an impulse. You gave everything you could.
Tip 1 – The foundation of a relationship is listening to your deepest impulses, rather than superficial impulses
If you opt for committed intimacy, it is important to understand that the woman you choose does not want to be number 1 in your life. She naturally wants to be the most important person in your life, but not the most important thing.
She knows that if you hide or ignore your deepest purpose/life impulse to please her and make her number 1, you will soon accuse her. There is a big difference between being the light of your life, the inspiration of your heart, the source of your excitement … And a woman you can’t live without. The latter is very restrictive.
If you cannot live without her, if you depend on her, if you can only continue to give your gift to the world when she is in your life and stop giving you a gift if she is not in your life, she will feel weakness. She doesn’t want a baby who depends on her. She wants a man who gives his gift fully to the world and to her and fully embraces her in that chosen purpose. It is part of this purpose. But it is not complete.
She wants to feel a free man, a man who loves her, a man who chooses her above all other female sources, a man who chooses her like the treasure of his life, who brings light to his whole life. But also a man who continues to give his gift, even if she disappears tomorrow. A man who is happy with her and happy without her, but chooses her, powerful and full of passion, while he can just as powerfully and passionately give his gift to the world, with or without her.
That’s the kind of man she can trust along with his heart. A man who does not bow down to her needs, but who offers Love. A man who does not ignore the deepest impulses of his heart. He doesn’t keep them back just to keep her. He is a living gift, feeling her, embracing her, loving her, knowing her deepest heart.
But if she leaves, he can continue fully. When she dies, his heart will mourn and hurt. For months and months, with intense suffering and sorrow, but in the midst of that suffering, he still has full access to the source of his being, to the Love that moves his life, with or without her. And then she can trust him.
Don’t make her the only one, the most important thing in your life. Embrace her as the person you choose to live most intimately with. Embrace it as the treasure in your life that shines and gives you the value of life itself. The attractive force that makes you happy to wake up next to you in the morning, making you happy to be alive. At the breakfast table, where she laughs and makes your heart grow. When she looks into your eyes, in the midst of all your hustle and bustle, goals, and tensions, you feel in her eyes the depth of devotion that amazes you.
Tip 2 – Committed Initially: sexual polarity serves your spiritual mission
Polarity, sexual polarity, is the ark of attraction between the male and the female. If you are identified with your own masculinity, make decisions, achieve goals … Then you will be sexually attracted to her.
It is innocent; it happens automatically. You will always be attracted to the sexual energy that you will not receive in the rest of your life. There is mutual service: “I want to serve you.” Your partner wants to serve you too. You want to serve each other’s openness and depth. Help each other’s lives to flourish. This is how you can give your gift to the world. That is committed intimacy. What is your purpose? What is the purpose of our relationship? Know your deepest goal. This is your anchor against superficial things, such as cheating.
The feminine is the life force. The masculine is unchanging consciousness.
Sometimes you have to feel her: give her the space to bring her beauty and light into your life, for example, because she chooses the furniture. Trust the feminine in your partner. Let go of your own femininity and step into your masculine energy.
At other times it is the other way around, and you can rely on her masculine energy. But sometimes you have to intervene based on your integrity. The masculine has choices and limits because it values certain values in the depths of its heart. Therefore, the masculine must sometimes say to the feminine: “I love you, and I cannot let you do this because I love you.” My deepest heart feels this, and I want to ask you to trust my deepest heart, that’s why we are together. “
Read the article about male and female energy, and know that there is a deep reason for the existence of male and female energy. The same woman that sexually attracts you the most is the same woman who frustrates you the most in other areas of your life (and vice versa).
When you want to finish a task, her feminine energy can be an obstacle for you. For example, she won’t understand what you mean. What is most important to you in your intimacy? Cooperation, sexuality, the children?
After ejaculation ge is the energy of the polarized, what keeps you together then? The deep Love you feel for the woman next to you in bed, despite the fact that the sexual desire to mix with her energy has decreased.
Tip 3 – Embrace the sexual polarity: this is your gift to each other
That sexual polarity is essential: together, you become complete. Let us take the example of ‘being in the now.’ That is a feminine characteristic. The male can step out of the now, take a distance, and from a dissociated position, make a rational decision based on the larger picture. It takes into account all events of the timeline in its judgment, allowing it to forgive. Suppose his wife has never lied in her life and is lying about something small for the first time, he can forgive her because he can live from the moment and view the overall picture.
On the other hand, if the woman is in her feminine essence, it doesn’t matter if you haven’t lived for ten years. Your 10-year track record doesn’t matter. There is no track record for her. She is now assessing. You are lying now, so she is angry now, and she doesn’t trust you now, even if you had lied zero times in the previous ten years. The masculine can forgive mistakes and not feminine energy because it provides pure reflection.
And that is fine, and in fact, it is desirable! Sure, she can go into her masculine energy so she can forgive you … But then there is no more polarity, no sexual attraction. So don’t expect the woman to be just like you, but let her reflect the depth of your integrity of this moment for you. That is her gift to you. In this way, you can experience the deep passion of polarity, and so she reflects, moment by moment, your integrity so that you can grow and make your heart deeper.
She is water, and you have stirred the water, and that wrinkles and continues to wave. She is then a woman who directly reflects on your points for improvement, with her deep wisdom and feelings at the moment, in response to you. But she responds just as deeply to your offer of depth and Love.
In every moment, you have the chance to open or close her heart. Feel her heart and do what you can to open her heart’s blossom, to receive your presence deep in her heart and body. Help her to feel her Divinity, her deepest devotion with God and commitment with Love, so that she can also give you Love from her deepest heart.
You achieve that by feeling the woman’s response in the next now moment and thereby improving yourself. Plus, give her energy: the feminine lives in the domain of energy (so not attention, such as attention focused on information, theory, promises for the future, or events). Energy is movement, connection, touch, embrace, eye contact, etc.
The secret to offering your deepest heart to a woman is not to hang in time but at the moment. Sometimes you can open her body with touch; sometimes you can open her heart with humor. Sometimes you can enter her soul with careful eye contact. Embrace, dance, tickle, laugh, a loving spank, maybe a sudden embrace, maybe a passionate embrace.
Honor the feminine by honoring your masculine. Does your heart stay connected to her? Are your muscles soft? Is your heart vulnerable instead of being shielded? Do you feel the movement of her body as if you are going to dance with her? Are you breathing with her? Is your breath full? Look her in the eyes. Embrace her. Feel her; make your heart deeper. Feel deeper in her heart. Breathe with her. Feel her deepest heart desires. Connect your deepest heart desires with her.
Tip 4 – Find more ways to honor the masculine and feminine in your relationship
Not only the masculine is completed by the feedback from the feminine: the same applies to the feminine. The feminine learns through encouragement and Love. So give her feedback: ‘Say/do it more often! I want to hear that, crazy lady, come here for a hug ‘. The feminine, in turn, gives unique feedback on the masculine. But give her in moderation what she needs: a hug, a breath, or something else for the stress. But enough is enough. I need my space, so do you.
Do not postpone giving your gift to the world. This is the desire of the male. Live as if you still have three days to live. Your purpose, your mission, must always be certain. It must not change so that the woman can trust that the man knows in his heart. She must feel that it is grounded in that which does not change. What does change is feminine? All those changes in women are her dance. Embrace that dance.
You sometimes test the feminine in how clear you have your purpose, by pushing it. She wants to distract you, and she finds pleasure when she discovers she can’t.
Let your mind and body (changeable organs) be an expression of your depth. Let your changeable expressions be grounded from your heart, and don’t just let it be ‘random.’ The woman must feel that to be able to trust you. The woman can feel when you really come from your heart, your depth, and she can feel when she should not trust you because you come from a more superficial motif.
Even when it comes to intimacy, you can honor the degree of masculinity or femininity in women. Balanced women attract balanced men and want quiet sex. Very male/female women want passionate, dramatic sex.
Tip 5 – Connect your spirituality with your relationship: why is intimacy such a spiritual phenomenon?
When she feels your heart, she wants to feel the heart of God. In your depth, she wants to feel the depth of God. She wants to feel the Divinity itself, which motivates you and motivates your desire to be with it. She wants to be taken by God when she is loved and taken by you. So God is the most important for her and for you.
Her deepest desire is to feel the expressive, Divine. This cannot be expressed in words. This is what lives in all of us. Your deepest desire is not her. Demonstrate your deepest commitment: “I love you, but I love God more than chasing you. So if you want to be with me, I’m here. I will love you; I will commit myself to be with you, to serve you in the name of God. I give and want all of that for you. But if you don’t want that, I don’t want that either. “
That is what she wants: your deepest desire, of which she can also be a part. She doesn’t want to be the only thing for you, and she doesn’t want to feel that she is more important to you than God.
She wants to choose someone who loves bringing the will of God into the world, your commitment to bring Love and light to the world, and that she may be part of it. She doesn’t want to be the only one, number 1 in your life. So choose a partner who chooses to be with you. She wants to be part of that.
If you go after her while she does not feel your deepest purpose in your heart, you are actually saying: ‘I live on superficial desires. Sure, I want you. You are very beautiful and kind. I would like to be with you, although I have lost my life, my mission. I don’t know where I’m going; God won’t find you in my heart. You feel my superficial desires, but that should be good enough …? “
Such a woman will not choose you. In this way, as the mission in your life, have you “won” the woman you wanted? It is never as good as you thought it would be. Business as usual. If you think that something would fundamentally change, then you are wrong.
Your experience of intimacy with another person or object directly reflects your desire and capacity to experience God. It’s about merging your life and your mind with others. Your success in marriage, in your business, and physical health, is directly related to your experience of God. You cannot go further with anything or anyone other than how far you can go with God. If your trust in God is weak, or there is none at all, then your trust in other people and your trust in life will be the same. This is why you should consider your relationship with God before considering another kind of relationship.
Tip 6 – Intimacy exercise to do with your partner – How present is my partner with me?
- During these breathing exercises, you look at your partner’s left eye.
- Feel the space around you. Feel your partner’s heart, like a fisherman feeling the fish in the water. A love, a becoming,
- there is no separation; there is here the Divine that sees the Divine, recognizing itself in the heart of the other.
- Feel how present your partner is with you, so: how much does she feel about you? On a scale of 1 to 10?
- First, you do this by assessing the presence silently; after a while, the active partner starts calling numbers first. Then you do it quiet again. Do you notice that your partner is not present (under 7)? With your hands, you call her for presence. “Please come back to me. I have to feel you; I have to feel your heart more. “
- Do this now at the same time, so no more turns. This is how we train each other.
- End with a bow or simple gesture to say: thank you, I appreciate doing this with you — a simple bow of gratitude.
Do not do this exercise alone with your partner, but take the energy of this exercise with you when dealing with everyone. Every time you hold this back from your friends, you hold back your gift, your gift of presence. Withholding your gift is suffering. Maybe you were tired at such a moment, or maybe you just didn’t know it was possible.
Variation: ask, “What is your deepest mission?” Do not focus on what the other person says, but feel if it comes from her heart. State it again on a scale of 10. Is your partner present with you while she says it? You are your mission; you live it. Always say thank you after every rating and tell your mission again. You say your mission SMART for this exercise.
Variation: breathe, feel her heart, look in her left eye, feel that, in her heart, she longs to be known. To be seen, to feel that you want to enter her, that you want to feel her heart, just as she is, deeper than she can so that she can feel herself through you. This is a gift that loved ones can give each other.
Variation: say to each other: “I want you.” Do the same as the previous variation. Give feedback on a scale of 1 to 10.
Tip 7 – Intimacy exercise to do with your partner – The circle
Sit or stand with your bellies together. One partner breathes, and like a circle, breathing returns through the backbone of the other. Breathing deep into your genitals, feeling life, and filling in our body. Put your tongue on your palate to close the energy circuit.
You can also synchronize your breathing this way by sitting with your backs facing each other. Sit completely against each other and feel your breath travel from bottom to top. Feel how your breath moves together in this way. Finally, stand up again by hooking your arms together and lifting up with force – with the backs still touching.
Tip 8 – Intimacy exercise to do with your partner – Your movement is one with my movement
- Sit opposite each other and do not touch each other.
- Breathe deeply through your stomach and crotch.
- Close your eyes and feel each other’s presence without touching each other. Do you feel a person? Heat?
- Open your eyes and look at the Love that you see before you, that loves you. You see yourself as that one love: that one love, looking at itself. You know that Love, and you are that Love.
- Hold both hands in front of you. Slightly above your knees, eyes still closed. Raise your left hand as if you were holding an apple and lower your right hand as if you were stroking a dog.
- Touch each other’s hands very lightly now, let your palms kiss each other, stay connected.
- At the exhalation, you bring one side towards you and the other side away from you. With inhalation, you do it the other way around. It is a train movement, as it were.
- Have someone take turns leading.
- Feel each other’s hands well. Do not grab or slip away: palms tightly together, gently. Do not hold your fingers.
- Now you go from the neutral front – behind the movement to a free dance movement in space.
- The female partner consciously gives the light of her heart to the male partner. “Feel this. This is my Love, this is my light. “The male receives it actively.
- Go back to the neutral “train position.”
- Now the man leads the dance. “This is the deepest consciousness I have to offer. My deepest, most infinite, and unlimited consciousness. Your movement is one with my movement.
Tip 9 – Intimacy exercise to do with your partner – You are a wonderful person
I learned this special exercise from Dr. Vincent van der Burg of UNLP. For this exercise, you are present with the other while staying with yourself at the same time.
- Grab each other’s hands and look at each other for 5 minutes. Without social masks such as a smile to hide the vulnerability of this encounter. One partner receives, the other partner gives. The giving partner says during these 5 minutes: “You are a beautiful person. “The receiving partner remains in silence.
- Although you are present with the other, the intention is not to lose your own feeling. To do this, do the following: The giving partner and the receiving partner both stay in the meantime with their own breathing. They also check with themselves: how does it feel for me to receive/pronounce this? In addition, you can also choose to go with your attention to your abdomen and / or the center of your heart. This automatically gives you full attention to the other person, precisely because you stay that way with your own feelings.
- Do you want another round? Then take a break in between and do with your body and your thoughts what you need to feel more at home and stay with yourself. What do you enjoy doing for yourself, so that you feel more at ease and can stay with yourself even better?
- Extra variations/assignments to experiment with: Focus on the feeling (‘aura‘) that you receive from the other person. In addition, breathe with the other as you do this.
Because this only takes five minutes, it is impossible not to be able to do this every day.
Tip 10 – Did you like the tips of this article? They are based on the work of David Deida
Although the titles sometimes suggest that it is only for men, I can tell you that it is also for women.
You are addressed as a man in his work, but the author makes no distinction between men and women. He only distinguishes between male and female energy, and that can be in both men and women.
The books of David Deida are good recommendations about (spiritual) relationships.