Dreaming about your ex, what does that mean?
What we dream often imagines what we think, feel, fear and desire on a subconscious level. It is therefore only logical that we attach importance to the subjects of our dreams. Anyone who knows how to correctly read this mirror of his mind gains insight into his own being that he will not find anywhere else. In this article we discuss a dream that occurs more often than you might think: dreams about your ex.
Dreaming about sadness and pain
- 1 Dreaming about sadness and pain
- 2 Dream interpretation: dreams about your ex
- 2.1 You dream about someone you recently broke up with
- 2.2 You dream that you are together again and everything is as before
- 2.3 Your ex and your new partner meet each other
- 2.4 Sex with your ex
- 2.5 You dream again about the ‘break up’
- 2.6 You are violent towards your ex
- 2.7 Your ex is violent towards you
- 2.8 Your ex wants you back
- 2.9 Your ex appears in your new living or working environment
Whoever just leaves a relationship will probably not be shocked when his or her ex turns up in a dream. The grief is fresh, the pain is new and in general we are in a transition phase between relationship and single life. But whoever has not heard from his or her ex for years, or who has meanwhile found a new partner, can sometimes be surprised when an ex suddenly appears there!
We soon have the tendency to think that dreaming about exes always entails a certain desire, but that does not necessarily have to be the case. Often an ex symbol stands for the entire time period that may or may not have been governed by their presence or absence. So your ex can simply refer back to things that existed next to your relationship, aspects of life that were not necessarily related to your romantic relationship.
On the other hand, an ex can also symbolize loss or release, growth and the comparison between past and present. Whether we like it or not, that ex has meant something to us and has also put his or her stamp on our subconscious.
Dream interpretation: dreams about your ex
In the overview below we discuss some dream scenarios in which exes play a role, and try to explain what this dream can mean.
You dream about someone you recently broke up with
This dream is simple to explain: you are in the break.
You dream that you are together again and everything is as before
When you have left a toxic relationship, this dream is a sign that you have not finished processing. The part of you that allowed others to treat you like this is still there, and it still takes some effort to do something about it. Consider it a warning: you do not want to enter into such a relationship again, and so you must ensure that you do not sit at all levels at all.
When it comes to a good relationship, this dream betrays a need for affection and security. Rest assured: you can feel that way even without a relationship.
Your ex and your new partner meet each other
This dream probably indicates a comparison between the two partners. What emerges from that comparison is strictly personal and we cannot possibly explain it to you, but perhaps the need for that comparison says something about your current relationship. This can be in a positive but also negative sense.
When your new partner shines against your ex, you are clearly happy with your new relationship; however, when the opposite happens, you may long for certain aspects that seem to be missing in your current relationship. However, it does not necessarily have to be that those aspects were present in the relationship with your ex.
Sex with your ex
This dream comes as a shock to many people – especially those who are completely done with their ex and would never dream of sharing the bed with them again during the day. However, sex in a dream is often different from sex in daily life.
Dream sex that you yourself are absorbed in and agree with is often incredibly intense and has a transcendent character. But in dreams you sometimes have sex with the most apparently random characters, or people you would never want to have sex with, no matter how much you like them. This kind of dream sex is often described as an expression of respect or acceptance, rather than an expression of lust.
So when you dream that you will be in bed again with your ex, you do not have to panic immediately: you probably have no suppressed feelings. See the dream as an acceptance of the breach. The dream can also mean that you realize that you also played a role in the failure of the relationship, or that you value your ex again. In the end, no one enters into a relationship with someone he or she cannot, in principle, stand, and someone does not necessarily have to become such a person after a break.
You dream again about the ‘break up’
With a recent fracture, this dream is no more than an attempt by your brain to process it. However, if the break is already further behind you, it is a warning from your subconscious: either you have not yet processed the break, or you run the risk of making the same mistakes.
You are violent towards your ex
This dream points to a lot of pent-up frustration and anger towards your ex-partner. This probably doesn’t come as a surprise either: these kinds of dreams often come from anger that you also have to deal with during the day.
If possible, it can help to discuss with your ex what happened and went wrong. Often this kind of honest conversation brings a bit of relief, and you can at least partially let go of the anger. If that is not an option, consult yourself: how can you let go of that anger so that it does not consume you?
Your ex is violent towards you
Those who come from a violent relationship may have dreams like this more often. Traumas are sometimes so strong that events repeat themselves in our dream world. Victims of violent partners who, in this way, are afflicted in their dreams may find salvation in the practice of lucid dreams. On the other hand, this dream can also be an attempt by your subconscious to process what has happened.
If the relationship with your ex was not violent in nature and you still have these dreams, the violence that is being done to you is a symbol of how you feel about the break. You probably thought the break was wrong, or it came unexpectedly and you were not prepared for it. Your ex does this to you again in your dream. Don’t despair though: this is the best way for your subconscious to handle the pain.
Your ex wants you back
Dreaming that your ex wants to start a relationship with you again can be very confusing. Certainly whoever hoped for a reconciliation himself, could go head in the clouds after such a dream. However, this dream does not mean that your ex actually wants to start a relationship with you again.
Do you not want your ex back, but do you dream this dream? Then you may have the feeling that you have abandoned your ex. Be strong: start a relationship out of compassion is definitely not a good idea.
Your ex appears in your new living or working environment
This dream asks you to reflect on how you got ahead. There is probably a lot of time between now and the break, and this dream is a friendly reminder of your personal growth. Your subconscious requires you to be more satisfied with yourself and what you have achieved!
When your ex is critical about your new habits and lifestyle, the difference between then and now is very big. This does not necessarily mean that you are not doing well. It is more a sign that you now live for yourself, where you used to sacrifice yourself for your ex again and again. Good of you!