I recently followed a refresher course from Vera Helleman about autism and emotions. It was a special day for me in which I found a lot of recognition in how Vera dealing with emotions translates from two kinds of people: the neurotypic human being who lives from the I-reference, where the attention goes to physical, mental and emotional, and the atypical human being it lives from the layer of being.
Ah, I thought. I know that. I used to live from the versus I reference (ego), now I live much more from the heart and the layer of being. The switch has been going on for about 10 years and started when I met my twin soul at a convention in America in 2009. You can read the impact of this in my new autobiographical novel, “The Love Conference”. that will be out on March 1, 2019. In the following years a lot has shifted in contacts with soul loved ones, my way of emotion management and making contact with energy. I recognize a lot of what Vera said on the training day. A short impression of part of the day.
Emotions and energy
Vera looks at emotions through the glasses of energy, where they are the physical layer of our human being, sees them as an energetic reality that has become in the form. Emotions are switching points and give us feedback about how we experience life. If physical reality does not match your energetic experience, an obsession arises: how should I solve this? If you have doubts about something, it means that you feel that something is wrong. If you suppress the energetic part, it makes you sick. You can’t go on with yourself if it’s not right. If you live in harmony, everything is right.
People with autism do not have an I reference. In their perception there is no right or wrong. It is therefore difficult for them to communicate what they want. For them it must be right what they do in their lives and correspond to their soul path. That can be a unique theme to live in and you would prefer to focus all your attention on it. However, the outside world expects rules and other things that you must comply with. At least show interest. An autist thinks everyone can do what they want. There is a large gunge stop to the other.
Connect with the energy of the other
When making contact, it is looking, feeling how the energy feels and absorbing the other person completely. There are no words. But most people want text to communicate. “How are you?” We ask. But you are not concerned with your “me”, because there is no … so it does not occur to you to see the other as a you.
As a person you have a unique theme to live in, your soul path. Socially, however, it is not accepted to be interested in just one thing. Do you want to conform to the social system even longer and lose your energy? And how do you do that?
Man is a herd animal and seeks the safety of the group to be accepted. How long do you have to listen to something that you don’t find interesting? When can you run away? You have to keep smiling and being friendly so that everyone is happy with you.
Make real contact from feeling
How can you make contact on an emotional level? That is only possible if we stop talking. When we touch and merge with the feeling. It is difficult for autists to feel the body. That is in a different energy frequency. Touching can therefore be painful. Because of this, sex can sometimes be fine and sometimes even unbearable. If the energy fields do not resonate with each other at that time, sex is painful.
In real contact you can observe other people as energy beings and let everything come in. This allows you to open and transform. It can even be invigorating. This keeps you connected, but you only need time to come back to yourself and everything can harmonize. Allowing everything to come in is only possible if it feels good for you, if you feel disgust. If people do something with the right intention, it feels good. When people do something with the wrong intention, it feels wrong and penetrates into your entire being. You can experience this for days.
One way of emotion regulation can be somewhere to fully engage with the other and merge with it, from a total surrender. But that takes a lot of energy and you only need time to come to yourself. It can be very intimate and intense in this way to get so close. Can you notice what happens emotionally to the other person? Can you see at a glance or observe posture? To open yourself is to open your heart and naturally make the connection with the earth.
By opening yourself, you are not busy fixing, but making contact with your heart and from there with the other. By asking yourself what the outside world wants from you, you expand your energy system and you move away from yourself. By breathing in the outside world, you center yourself. This allows you to make contact with each other. It is safe for the other if you open yourself completely.
If someone is overwhelmed, others are not allowed to come close and you cannot get into their energy system. The energetic state of being is then not yet ready for the physical body. Your energy field is limitless. How can you get to the same energy level? By being quiet, by breathing, by feeling what there is. Where are the limits of your body? Focus not on the other but on yourself. Take care of your body.
It is better not to ask I-oriented questions to someone with autism and to leave them out. So not: “what do you want?” But “what does it want to happen now?”
Not: “what do you think about that?” But “what about that?”. Not: “what do you want to eat?” But: “what does your belly want?” Or “what does your energy system want?” Not: “do you want this or that?” But: “what fits best?” Or “what resonates now?”what do you notice? “or:” what’s happening inside you?
Opening your energy system is not something you can do. What you can do is stop closing yourself. Allowing someone to come in, because it’s an experience for you, being curious. May the energy of the other mix with you? Every being is an energy and you decide if it can mix with you.
Open your heart
What became clear to me on this day is that I do recognize the entire spectrum of being human, both the neurotypic and the atypical or autistic spectrum. Through the many time journeys in which I open my heart wide to be able to perceive, experience and transform the energy and emotions of the other, I discover more and more about being human and emotions. For me, I can only perceive emotions in someone else if something of my soul recognizes this emotion or situation.
It is therefore important that people resonate with me or with what I write. Certainly in the field of trauma of the soul, where energies from ancestors and past lives become visible and palpable. It has become a way of working that I combine with individual systemic work and which I call Integrated Soul Alignment. Opening my heart and experiencing endless compassion for being human has brought me a lot in recent years. Bringing both worlds into balance and connecting them to each other is and remains the invitation.